Junior and Tim Stealy reflect on the legacy of their stepfather ahead of Father’s Day
Junior and Tim Stealy were five and 11 years old when Bud Moe became their stepfather after marrying their mother Joanne in 1969.
Sunday, June 20 will be their first Father’s Day without the man who meant so much to them and many others in the Marshall area as Bud died in March at 86.
“What I miss is the silence on my phone,” Junior said. “There’s times where it’s 6 o’clock in the morning and I have a question and I think, ‘dad’s not here anymore.’ He drove me nuts, but his compassion—dad and I got close after mom passed, it’s an empty spot. But the community support has been phenomenal.”
While Junior lives in Marshall and helps operate the family farm, Tim lives in New Hampshire and always relied on phone calls from Bud. Tim said even when his stepfather’s health was failing and he was staying in a Marshall nursing home, Bud would call Tim to check on him and see if there was anything he could do for him, with both Junior and Tim saying that was true to Bud’s character.
“He would always stay in contact no matter where I was,” Tim said. “He was always there whether he could do something or not.”
Tim said he talked to Bud a week before he passed and Bud described himself as the “social director” at the facility.
Junior added that if there was something he could do for the other residents at the facility, he would go to the higher ups to see what he could do for them.
“If somebody wanted something done up there, they always got ahold of dad,” said Junior. “Then dad would go to the big shots—he didn’t care, he wanted what was best for everyone and even when life changed, he wanted what was best for the residents over at the nursing home. So, it never stopped - that was his role in life, to help people make the best of what they got.”
Bud lent a helping hand to both his family and the community throughout his life. After selling Bud’s Wrecker Service in Marshall in 1981 after he and Joanne started the business in 1969, Bud remained active in the community through involvement with the Calhoun County Agriculture Industrial Society along with his continued service with the Calhoun County Fair, which he was avid supporter of for over five decades while also serving on the board for many years.
Bud also was involved in the Lions Club, American Legion and was a volunteer firefighter for nearly 20 years.
Junior and Tim both agreed that their stepfather’s willingness to be involved in so many different things within the community is an important part of the legacy he leaves behind.
“He wanted himself out there, not just for the business because the business was sold, but he still stayed in the community,” Junior said. “Even the owner of Bud’s now, they would give dad a call and dad would stop out there—there’s some memorabilia still out at Bud’s.”
Tim added that the Lions Club would have pancake breakfasts and Bud would convince him to wait to come home on those weekends because Bud wanted Tim to be welcomed by the people he interacted with in the community at social events.
“He’d come around with a plate of pancakes and sausages and say ‘oh, you’re out? Have some more.’ He would make sure everybody had some. But he just loved that,” Tim said.
Bud was never shy about meeting people and loved being in the spotlight. He became friends with several different classic country music singers through his work as a disc jockey at a couple of radio stations.
Junior and Tim were introduced by Bud to several performers over the years including Charlie Pride, Aaron Tippin and Billy Dean. The family even knew Dolly Parton in the years before she became famous.
Tim recalls one memory before Bud became his stepfather when his mother would take him to the radio station Bud worked for in Jackson at WJCO. Bud would invite Tim to sit in the booth with him and allow Tim to help him on the air.
“He’d say, ‘yeah, we’ve got a young man here today’ and he’d throw a song on and say, ‘you’re on the radio now,’” Tim said.
As much as Bud liked to have fun and interact with as many people as he could, he was also never afraid to voice his concerns if he had an issue with something or someone in particular, which in turn would rub people the wrong way from time to time. But in the eyes of Tim and Junior, that aspect of their stepfather just made him human and showed his authenticity as a person.
“He pissed a lot of people off,” said Junior. “Not deliberately, but if he believed in something, he was going to do it 110 percent. You can’t keep everyone happy all the time.”
Added Tim: “He was always up front.”
One of the most meaningful memories the three had occurred three years ago, just about six months before Bud started living in the nursing home, when they visited Washington, D.C. as part of Talons Out Honor Flight to visit the memorials dedicated to honor those who have sacrificed and served the country.
Bud joined the Air Force in 1954 and was assigned to the Strategic Air Command (SAC) under Col. Curtis E. Lemay in Africa. Tim also has a military background himself, but the trip was meaningful for all three.
“He thanked me 100 times when we went to the Honor Flight,” said Junior. “That was the most joyous and sad time, we had two World War II vets with us. His health was really failing, but even through all that pain he was just so proud and so happy to be there.”
Added Tim: “My daughter surprised us and showed up. So, it was just like ‘wow.’ His granddaughters and great granddaughters showed up, which I didn’t know. They surprised all of us.”
To this day, some of the jokes Bud used to tell and stunts he used to pull still make Tim and Junior laugh when they think back on their stepfather.
Tim said he remembers Bud making their mom mad because he had bought a camper for the sole purpose of using it as the Fairgrounds when he would spend long hours over there.
“I remember it even got to the point where dad had bought a travel trailer and would take it to the fairgrounds and he was there all weekend and never came home, camping out in the trailer,” said Tim. “He’d take the trailer up there, park it and he was all set for the week.”
Junior said he will always remember the smile Bud had on his face as he was playing jokes or having fun with the family.
“Ninety-nine percent of the pictures you ever see, he always had that smile on his face,” Junior said.